Friday, December 24, 2010

The Gift of Receiving

During the holiday season, most people happily focus considerable attention on giving. All the retail stores and online companies dream that this focus will encourage gift buying at record levels and lead to a profitable bottom line for the year.

While this orientation supports the ancient maxim that it is better to give than to receive, an important question arises about "receiving" that merits consideration.

What do you value, what is important to you, about receiving?

To clarify your views on receiving, here are some additional questions for reflection:
  • How would you describe your presence with presents? Consider the physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual qualities of your presence in the moment.
  • How does your presence change when you are receiving gifts or anything else in various situations, or with different people?
  • To what extent is it easier for you to give than to receive?
  • What circumstances within and outside you create blocks in your ability to fully and freely receive?
  • What internal and external conditions help you receive from others?
  • What other questions or concerns do you have about receiving?
  • What might you do to enhance your capacity to receive?
As you review these questions, you may benefit from making further distinctions in the behavior of receiving. For example, you may have observed that "engaged receptivity" feels very different from "passive acceptance" of a gift, both when you're giving and when you're receiving.

When you wholeheartedly "take on" someone else's giving, your receiving demonstrates an acknowledgment of that person's attention and efforts on your behalf. This kind of receiving can have powerful, memorable effects on the giver and the receiver, especially when you act authentically, and express genuine gratitude for what you have been given.

In these ways, receiving can become an intimate interpersonal response, and your expansive gift to others.

May your receiving touch the heart of everyone who gives to you.

Love and Peace,

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Singing Your HeartVoice!

The other night I enjoyed a TV show, The Sing-Off, that features diverse and wonderfully talented a cappella groups from around the country. Besides the amazing singers, the program possesses a pleasant surprise for the "reality" genre.

The judges!

Although the show fosters competition and seeks a "winner," this experienced panel communicates skillful insights, genuineness, and helpful criticism in their feedback to the artists. This kind of effective and supportive evaluation is difficult to find in most families, businesses, and organizations, let alone on network television.

As an example, in the most recent challenge, the judges assigned a different song that would tap into each group's strengths and potentially bring out their best performance. They weren't looking to trip up the contestants. Rather, the judges wanted to facilitate growth and a rewarding experience for everyone. Their encouragement succeeded beyond expectations, and, consequently, all the groups advanced to the finals!

Imagine what you (your friends, family, coworkers) would do with that type of loving attention . . .

Another demonstration of the judges' beneficial style frequently occurred when they remarked that a group had taken a song seriously, while allowing themselves to act "silly" or in some lighthearted way.

This distinction between a group's professional attitude about the music and their entertaining perception of themselves inevitably resulted in a solid performance. In this way, they let go of any self-consciousness, displayed a high level of skill in a very challenging situation, and exemplified the "flow" state described by noted author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

As you would expect in such moments, the group's sheer happiness and unbridled enthusiasm became contagious, thrilled the audience, and led to rave reviews.

The series of these interactions between the judges and the different groups implicate other domains of life as well. Consider these questions for your own personal or professional activities:
  • How can you more fully tap into your own (and others') strengths?
  • What support do you need to let go of any self-consciousness you have at work (or at home)?
  • What skills would help you improve your performance in the midst of high-level challenges at work (or at home)?
  • How could you be more "silly" and lighthearted in your work (or home) environment?
  • In what ways would you like to have more fun, enjoy yourself, and "let your music out" in your work (or home) life?
  • How can you introduce more ease or playfulness into your work (or home) settings?
  • What feedback could you give to others at work (at home) that would optimally nurture their feelings of self-worth, confidence, and successful performances?
When you play with these kinds of questions, you will probably discover that you're opening doorways to creatively and lovingly explore possibilities for yourself and others.

Remember: You don't have to guess others' responses to these questions. Ask them directly and your subsequent actions will be more meaningful and effective.

In my experience with thousands of people over 35 years, I have never heard anyone say that he or she was loved too much. Therefore, when you "lavish" this specific supportive, caring attention on your family or colleagues, they may initially express some surprise. Then, they will typically warm up and happily collaborate with you to bring about a mutually desired outcome.

As you practice this new way of bringing out the best in yourself and others in daily living:

Sing out with your HeartVoice!

Love and Peace,

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Rekindling Your Holiday Spirit

At this time of year, the holiday season elicits powerful feelings and memories of loved ones enjoying venerable traditions, fun gatherings, and special festivities.

As you probably have experienced, these annual celebrations with family and friends can also be very stressful events. Although everyone has the desire to get along and have a good time, familiar gestures, habitual reactions, or casual conversations may occur that annoy someone. Then, the irritation grows and culminates in a hurtful disturbance.

How does this happen with people who supposedly love each other?

Just because you have been connected with others for a long time doesn't mean they know you now. This can be especially true with family where members may act as if their common genetic and historical backgrounds can replace in-depth and mutual communication.

The paradox of not feeling known among family or friends who have known you your whole life can be very confusing. You want to meaningfully connect and freely express yourself, yet you don't feel safe and "seen" enough to do so. In addition, your uneasiness and frustration can make you more sensitive to the words and actions of people around you, and even trigger wounds from your past.

In this emotionally charged context, you too may haphazardly engage in saying and doing things that provoke someone else. Any intentions you might have had to experience a peaceful day fade as a distant fantasy, and you may now feel badly about yourself as well.

How can you eliminate this "holiday hell"?

Although you cannot control how your family and friends act in these situations, you can manage your own behaviors. Here are some suggestions to reduce unpleasant consequences for you and your group:
  • Clarify people's expectations and any special needs prior to the event. Don't make assumptions about what everyone would like.
  • Make specific agreements regarding the logistics of your gathering. That is, who's doing what, where, when, and how? Keep things as simple as possible.
  • Approach each person with care and compassion, especially those with whom you have a lot of history. Don't be casual.
  • Reconnect and warm up before you engage in serious subjects. Ask questions in your interactions with others. Don't invite people to talk unless you want to genuinely listen.
  • Avoid joking at another's expense. Don't use sarcasm to express yourself.
  • Stop habitual reactions whenever possible. Don't take things personally.
  • Consider other ways in which you can avoid, eliminate, or decrease the incidence of personal and interpersonal harm.
After you have reflected on these alternatives, focus on a few to practice in upcoming events that you host or attend. As you become effective in eliminating "holiday hell," you can place more of your attention on cultivating the qualities you desire such as ease, relaxation, harmony, loving kindness, and peace.

In order to nurture these qualities and create a joyful atmosphere for holiday experiences, you might consider these practical skills:
  • Be responsible for your own feelings and behaviors.
  • Meditate before gatherings.
  • Give yourself plenty of time and space.
  • Observe, support, and refresh your energy level. Rest to prevent exhaustion.
  • Attend to (notice) your breath during the event.
  • Feel yourself grounded in your body.
  • Review my related discussions including "The Art of Witnessing," "Communicating from Your Heart," "Forgiving," "Create Your Own Lineage," and "Sustaining Your Momentum: Releasing Resistance."
With these practices, you will discover that you can minimize your own experience of "holiday hell," and be happy and healthy throughout the holidays.

Imagine your holiday season filled with child-like wonder and expansive joy!

Love and Peace,

Sunday, November 14, 2010


The intentional practices of releasing resistance, allowing, and being patient nurture your efforts to express your HeartVoice and inspired possibilities. As a result, you may feel much more ready, willing, and able to accomplish these changes than ever before in your life.

You're establishing a powerful inner foundation for new ways of being, doing, and having.

However, you don't need to "make it happen" all on your own.

You can ask.

One place to start is within. In this asking, you direct your attention inward, abiding in your Heart, to access the Divinity, Creator, or whatever name you choose for the reflection of that superconsciousness in you.

You might ask for guidance, the solution to a problem, something to be revealed, or clarity and wisdom on an issue that is obscured.

In the Stillness, you ask and wait to feel inspiration.

This form of your HeartVoice usually "speaks" in a quiet whisper. So your Presence is of the utmost importance in both asking and listening. Once you've received the inspiration, you'll know the direction for your actions.

Of course, you can also ask for suggestions, help, and other kinds of support from others. These people could include family, friends, colleagues, professionals, and organizations. You can identify these aids through personal connections or internet resources. The opportunities for external support are virtually unlimited.

Often, your asking for others' assistance and the enormity of available resources can bring up two common concerns:
  • What if my asking is a sign of weakness?
  • How do I know which resources to explore?
If you perceive asking as a lack of competence (a "failing"), just recall a time when someone you respect asked for your support. How did you feel about that person? How did you feel about yourself?

You probably felt honored to be asked, and happy to do whatever you could to help out. Most people share this desire to contribute to others.

In terms of resources, you might view your investigation as an adventure, rather than hard, painful work. Look into possibilities and ask for leads, as you feel inclined. Allow others to help you with ease. Be open to surprises and unexpected directions. Play with the different options you develop with people or the internet.

At any time, you might further facilitate your progress by reflecting on your exploration process:
  • Does the nature of my question, what I'm asking, need to change?
  • Do I feel clear, connected, and creative in asking or involving a specific resource for support?
No matter how you feel about asking or which resources you engage, a key element in the process is to be clear about the form of help you want and any logistics involved. You must know what you want, need, or expect, since others cannot read your mind. Then, the agreement (written or verbal) between you and your supports can be established.

In the simple act of asking for guidance from within and outside yourself, you can make a profound impact on your personal growth. By asking, you invite others to play a role in your life, share experiences, and cultivate conditions for mutuality. Your enlarged network of supportive relationships and your increased resourcefulness can also transform your sense of self-confidence and competence.

As you practice asking, you expand your capacity and willingness to receive. In this way, asking becomes a gift to others as well as to you.

To strengthen this gift, stretch yourself with this exercise:

Ask someone else for support even if you don't need it.

Ask and you shall receive!

Love and Peace,

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sustaining Your Momentum: Being Patient

In the two previous discussions about maintaining change efforts, I presented the complementary methods of releasing resistance and allowing.

When you release resistance to "what is," you break a pattern and stop struggling with life. Whether a situation can or cannot be changed, you let go of any opposition. Without resistance and habitual reactions, you can freely allow for something new. You recognize "what is" and make possible changes, or you act in a completely different way.

Consider this scenario.

Imagine you have a boss who persistently disregards and undervalues your work. You decide to release your resistance to her, pause, and begin to allow new options for yourself. After some creative brainstorming, you choose to explore some leads within other parts of your company, as well as possibilities with an organization in an entirely different industry.

Throughout these change activities, the liberating processes of releasing your resistance and allowing will powerfully support your various efforts. As you engage in releasing and allowing, the methods will interact to provoke critical questions for your next steps.

What will characterize the quality of your being as you move in your desired direction, toward your aspirations? That is, how will you think, feel, and express yourself in your journey?

To support your response to these questions, consider the pivotal role of the last method of sustaining your momentum, being patient.

Being Patient
In the dictionary, patience is associated with "the ability to endure waiting or delay without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly."

Of course, if you release your resistance, you won't need to endure "what is" or hold on to annoyance and upset. Furthermore, if you allow, you will more easily persist or stick with your actions. In this way, the two processes promote engagement in an expanded form of being patient.

In this new form of patience, you acknowledge that quick fixes are not desirable. Rather, you know that long-lasting, sustainable change requires continuous effort, and that creating your path, step by step, in an organic way will lead to realization of your aspirations.

You go beyond tolerating challenges in your life. By persevering without resistance to your conditions and allowing new possibilities, you demonstrate a patience that strengthens feelings of ease and self-love, deepens commitment to skillful action, and helps you ultimately achieve desired forms of self-expression.

To reinforce this quality of being patient throughout the change process, consider this question:

"How much ease and self-love can I feel in being patient now?"

In the work scenario described, you would let go of any resistance you have to the current economic or career conditions, and allow plenty of time and space, take the pressure off, to explore "what is" and what might be. You ask for support from people you trust. And, you do what you wish to maintain healthy thoughts and feelings.

Your experiences of being patient in the midst of your change efforts establish the sense of competency and resiliency essential for nurturing momentum. Now you know you can handle whatever comes your way!

With steady pacing and deliberate practice, this kind of patience and self-confidence shifts your attention away from "waiting" for something external. Instead, you focus on the present moment, and abide within, as you feel the natural flow of life inspire and move you toward your aspirations.

Your letting go, receptivity, and stillness can also help you notice unexpected opportunities (e.g., jobs) as you consciously move along your path.

Play with this new "present-moment patience" for a while. Then, whenever you practice being patient in sustaining your momentum, you might reflect on this question:

"How joyfully can I experience the present moment and my essential freedom now?"

Love and Peace,

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sustaining Your Momentum: Allowing

In Releasing Resistance, I illustrated how common forms of pain in everyday life combined with resistance create suffering. This habitual suffering distracts you, absorbs your time, attention, and energy, and restricts movement toward your desired outcomes.

By releasing resistance, you break the limiting habit, stop your suffering, and pause for possibilities. The pause turns your attention away from resistance and opens up the space to move toward something else.

To take optimal advantage of this open moment, you need to engage another method of sustaining your momentum, allowing.


Allow typically means to let, permit, or take no action to prevent, which characterizes some of the "pause" in releasing resistance. Within this pause, in addition to "letting go," you must let yourself "move" in some way.

This form of allowing extends beyond passive permission into active, creative, innovative, and expansive ways of freely and fully being, doing, and having. As such, your movement may be a physical act, or can involve a less tangible emotional, mental, or spiritual change.

Consider the following scenario.

Suppose that "struggle," a form of suffering, has become an expected and pervasive part of your work life. You want to transform this habitual obstacle, so you identify your resistance in a specific, current situation. That is, you don't feel appreciated by you boss or "visible" in your job, and you haven't been able to let go of "what is."

In effect, you've been desperately knocking at your employer's closed and locked door. By acknowledging her unchanging behavior toward you, and forgiving yourself for persistently going after her, you begin to release your resistance and let go of struggle.

You end the "knocking" and related pain, pause, and step back from the door.

Now, you're ready to engage dynamic allowing.

To start, you might actively examine your beliefs and feelings about work, your values and purpose in any kind of work role, and your aspirations or desired experiences for the future. You might also talk with friends and family about ideas, read about interesting career opportunities, or investigate other options in your company.

With this exploration, you will see yourself from a fresh perspective or paradigm that fosters internal and external change toward possibilities that you probably never imagined when you were resisting.

Eventually, you will cultivate new beliefs, feelings, and behaviors that reflect you without resistance, resonate with your natural purpose, and allow for the full expression of your HeartVoice in the workplace.

With practice, you will find this flowing and inspired experience of yourself influences the quality of your Presence in all areas of your life. Within your value system, you will allow your whole bodymind to enthusiastically give and receive as you wish. Your authentic awareness and acceptance will further allow you to energetically sustain momentum in all your desired changes.

In the final part of this discussion, I will consider how "being patient" interacts with "releasing resistance" and "allowing" to promote your possibilities.

As you practice with releasing resistance and allowing in various situations, you might wonder:

"What will my amazing power of allowing reveal now?"

Love and Peace,

PS de résistance: After I wrote about releasing, my external hard drive suddenly failed, and I received a notice from the IRS about auditing us. Both unexpected events provoked initial "pain" (e.g., discomfort, frustration, irritation). Then, I had many opportunities to let go of my resistance to "what is." Later, in my allowing, I was inspired to develop creative, simple, and easy solutions to deal with the prompt replacement and installation of a new drive, and the comprehensive generation of numerous required financial documents. At some point, I was able to laugh about all of this.

Love your practice!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Sustaining Your Momentum: Releasing Resistance

In the midst of the countless demands on you every day, you may wonder how you can effectively sustain all the changes you want to make in your life.

How can you maintain the momentum of your efforts when so many external and internal obstacles threaten to drag you down or stop you?

Most people have been conditioned to believe that their successful changes require buckling down, pushing through, struggling, working harder, depriving, and other ways of "forcing" themselves to keep moving toward their goals.

This approach often fails to produce the desired results, and can generate many unhealthy physical and emotional symptoms such as resentment, headaches, guilt, digestive problems, loss of confidence, and so on.

As an alternative view, here's the first of three methods (ways of being and doing) that can help you sustain your momentum, or adjust your direction as needed, to create the changes you desire.

Releasing Resistance
In the Buddhist tradition, resistance is viewed as the source of all suffering. Although pain inevitably exists in the world, suffering is optional. When you resist, you have a judgment that "what is" should not be the way it is, and that you should be able to do something about it.

For example, imagine you're making great progress in a new exercise program at your gym. A month into the routine, you learn that the machines you've been using are unavailable for a week or two for necessary emergency repairs to that part of the building.

You would probably feel some upset and disappointment ("pain") about this unexpected event. If you resist what has happened ("what is"), and focus only on what you can't do now, your pain will become suffering and limit you. You will lose sight of other options you might pursue to keep your exercise regimen intact.

Similarly, suppose you love someone, and discuss a painful experience you have had with him. You talk about possible changes for both of you in the relationship, and express support for his efforts. After several months in which you have developed and applied some new skills, your lover says that he is unwilling to work on the changes you desire.

You feel disturbed and betrayed by his position. If you resist his lack of motivation ("what is"), and drive yourself to figure out what else you can do, your relationship pain will lead to your suffering. In your myopic state, you might easily overlook the benefits of your own growth, and the opportunity for you hidden in his announcement.

An economics professor from the University of Texas once told me about a class in which he interviewed "self-made" millionaires. Besides not having inheritances, these people shared one important characteristic that distinguished them from less successful businessmen and women.

In the development of a business idea, if they encountered prolonged blocks to progress ("pain"), they would stop, cut their losses, let go, and start something new, rather than continue to invest in a dying enterprise.

These people knew that resistance could create suffering, become counterproductive, and involve an enormous waste of time, energy, and other resources. They learned how to integrate their desires with the flow of events by releasing their resistance.

In this way, they practiced the spirit of this prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr:

"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

In the next two parts of this discussion, I'll explore how "allowing" and "being patient" can powerfully nurture your momentum.

In the meantime, whenever you encounter some form of pain that threatens to stall or block your progress, pause to give yourself some space. Then, support the flow of your creative and meaningful changes by playfully entertaining this question:

"How easily can I release my resistance now?"

Love and Peace,

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Source of Safety

In Safety Matters!, you determined the critical importance of safety in your current relationships, and identified those qualities and behaviors you want in order to feel safe in your future interpersonal experiences.

Your list of desired qualities and behaviors may include: being present, asking questions, effective listening, expression of feelings, consideration, genuineness, empathy, consistency, humor, making and keeping agreements, and more. Such factors reduce the possibility of harm and enhance well-being in your relationships.

In addition to the interpersonal sphere, you might also consider those environmental conditions that support your safety.

Reflect for a moment on the quality and quantity of light, space, sounds, air, temperature, colors, smells, textures, "traffic" flow, and other features in various places you encounter. How do these characteristics affect your sense of safety?

As you can see, all these factors can dramatically influence your happiness and healthy functioning at home, in your workplace, at the gym, in a restaurant, or in any other setting.

Therefore, when interpersonal and environmental conditions favorably interact, you will experience qualities of safety that powerfully encourage your growth in love and belongingness (e.g., teamwork, family harmony).

However, as you know, relationships and the environment do not always nurture your safety.

You might find yourself in that situation with people (e.g., family, co-workers) with whom you need to interact at certain times. Or, you might be in an environment (e.g., housing situation, worksite) that you are not easily able to leave.

What do you do when interpersonal or environmental characteristics are not conducive to your safety?

Here are some suggestions for dealing with these "unsafe" circumstances:
  • Do not ignore, deny, or compromise your safety needs.
  • Perceive (witness) the other person or the environment with as little interpretation and judgment as possible.
  • Acknowledge what's happening and how you feel in your body.
  • Let go of expectations that things will change. Whether they do or don't, you still have yourself.
  • Don't look for approval, appreciation, acceptance, or "visibility" from people who act in unsafe, casual, or unconscious ways.
  • Consider what you want to do. Realize that you are competent and can rely on your own skills, resources, talents, and strengths. You can also ask for help.
  • Express what you want with kindness, as you wish, and explore changes that might be made in the relationship or environment.
  • Take specific, relevant action.
By focusing on these practices in your communication and behaviors, you will gradually notice a life-changing shift. Although you will be aware of the effects of varying degrees of interpersonal and environmental safety, these influences will not determine your response. Instead of habitual or fear-driven reactions, you will make conscious choices about how you want to express yourself and engage with safe and unsafe people and contexts.

Your free choices cultivate a relationship with a deeper core of safety within you.

This inner safety allows for wholehearted experiences of love, intimacy, and community, and the development of self-reliance and interdependence. You are grounded in your body, you begin to trust yourself, you know whom to ask for support, and you feel capable of handling whatever happens.

As you expand in safety, you will embody increased self-esteem, connect meaningfully with your HeartVoice, and become creative and playful in your expression. In this way, your own inner safety nurtures all the building blocks for your joyful living.

May your essential safety within open the way to freedom!

Love and Peace,

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Safety Matters!

Imagine this scenario.

Brenda is waiting at a local coffeehouse for her first "date" with Jim. She met Jim through an online dating service, has spoken with him on the phone, and is looking forward to their time together.

Jim arrives a little late, and the two exchange pleasant conversation. Although Brenda feels a little apprehensive, she continues to engage Jim to learn more about him. He talks easily about himself without revealing much feeling or insight. His own questions of Brenda seem superficial and practiced. She think he's good looking, polite, and "hard to read."

Brenda responds to her experience by agreeing to meet Jim again. She attributes any "awkwardness" to the anxiety of a first encounter. After several similar, lackluster dates, Brenda is feeling frustrated and begins to doubt her own attractiveness. She becomes confused and physically demonstrative. Eventually, she sleeps with Jim, and does so periodically over the next three months before she breaks off the relationship.

Now, Brenda feels guilt and shame. With bitter self-criticism, she wonders how she ended up in this situation.

* * *

In my consultations with many women (and men) over 35 years, distressing experiences like Brenda's usually correspond to unstable or diminished self-acceptance and a powerful, repetitive pattern. In this manner, people habitually fail to acknowledge or casually disregard a core component of healthy relationship life.


In the interpersonal context, safety refers to conditions in which some form of harm to you and the other person is unlikely. Furthermore, your well-being is recognized and nurtured.

According to Abraham Maslow's hierarchy, after you meet your basic physiological needs (e.g., air, food, shelter, sleep), safety is essential before you can effectively meet your needs for love and belonging.

Additional support for the importance of safety comes from Erik Erikson, who created an eight-stage theory of emotional development across the life span. In Erikson's first stage, Trust vs Mistrust, the infant needs to develop feelings of comfort from a consistent caregiver. This constant, reliable care promotes the baby's sense of trust. If a child's needs are not consistently met, she can develop a sense of mistrust. As a result, she will be less able to delay gratification, and react to frustration with anxiety and upset.

In my view, this early trust forms the roots of interpersonal safety.

In Brenda's example, safety was missing throughout her relationship with Jim. Although she wasn't concerned about physical harm, she did have some initial uneasiness, didn't feel "visible," and lacked a sense of genuine connection and trust with him. As Brenda and Jim spent more time together, she felt less secure and more uncertain about herself.

Despite her disappointment with Jim's minimal support, comforting, and empathy, she became sexually involved. Brenda overlooked all these signs of being "unsafe" because she wanted, perhaps desperately, to belong, to feel loved, and to share intimacy. In Maslow's terms, she bypassed her safety needs to get her love/belonging needs met.

By acting without safety, she allowed her fundamental well-being to be ignored. As you might expect, this level of personal compromise led to her feeling isolated and distraught.

* * *

Of course, interpersonal safety is critically important in all your relationships. If you wish to enhance your safety with friends, family, coworkers, as well as with lovers, you need to first assess what you have now. Consider the following:
  • Reflect on your current relationships, and identify those people with whom you feel "safe" as discussed earlier.
  • What qualities and characteristics do these people possess that support your feeling of safety?
  • What behaviors do they express that promote your safety with them? What do they actually do?
Review your responses. Make sure you've been clear and specific.

By creating this list, you have recognized the significance of safety in your present relationships. Now, you can take that activity one step further with this question:
  • What qualities, characteristics, and behaviors do you want to experience to feel safe (or increase safety) in your relationships?
Some of your responses to what you want may come from your previous list, while others will be new.

In any case, your desired responses will help you notice those factors that are present when you feel safe (and when you don't) in various interpersonal encounters with familiar as well as unfamiliar people. As your awareness grows, you can make any changes to your wants as you wish.

In the next discussion, I'll go beyond interpersonal situations to explore the key to safety within. Until then:

Allow yourself to feel and appreciate the consistency, comfort, and nurturance of safe relationships.

Love and Peace,